The Thin Line Between Love and Hate
by rikki-tikki23
Summary: Boy meets boy. Boy likes Boy. Boy lies.
1. I am the Walrus

Chapter one

"I am the Walrus"

I laid there on my bed absorbing the last days of summer break.

"MICHALE, I'M GOING TO YOGA!" my mom yelled from downstairs.

"YEAH, I KNOW IT'S WAY TOO EARLY FOR YOU TO FUNCTION I MEAN IT IS TEN AM. YOU SHOULD BE UP AND GOING WITH ME. IF YOUR CHI GETS UNBALANCED DON'T GO BLAMING ME! ROXIE IS COMING OVER; SHE'LL BE HERE IN THIRDY MINUTES! I WON'T BE HOME TILL TONIGHT! DON'T GET YOURSELVES IN TOO MUCH TROUBLE WHILE IM GONE!"

"Fine!" I muffled out from under the covers.

I heard the door slam shut. I rolled over to look at my clock it was nine forty-five. I rolled my eyes. Then tumbled out of bed yawning. I walked into my bathroom and turned on the shower. While the water heated up I turned on the radio, the classics station as always, and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair looked atrocious. My hair was longer than some boy's hair. It was espresso, except for the ends dyed a caramel color, from art camp. I peeled off my clothes and got in to the shower. Showers always have waked me up maybe when Roxie got here I won't be such a drag. Roxie and I have been friends since as pre-school. In fact she was the only kid who talked to me in pre-school. I use to play with the other kids till I kissed Roxie's brother, Mack, on the cheek. Everybody hated me after that, but I guess all four year olds are homophobes. I laughed at my thought turning around turning off the shower. I grabbed a towel off the towel rack and dried my hair a bit then wrapped it around my waist. Grabbing my glasses and putting them on I walked out of my bathroom in to my bedroom (they are connected, kind of like a master suite). Roxie was in my room on my computer.

"OH MY GOD! WH-what the hell?!" I screeched surprised by her presence.

"Oh shut up, remember I've seen you naked." She said bitterly. I blushed knowing it was true.

Once last summer when I was 15, Roxie was over after a pool party. I wasn't into the whole swimming in the pool with like fifty other kids thing so I just stayed on the side. But anyway, when we got back to my place my mom was gone. She's gone a lot; I don't really mind it I'm old enough to be left alone. I went upstairs and started to change. I didn't realize till my trunks where down to my knees that I left the door open and there was Roxie in full shock of seeing me in my birthday suit. That was the most awkward moment between me and Roxie. We stared at each other for what felt for years and then we just broke out laughing I pulled my trunks up by then though. She still picks on me about it.

"Shut up." I said, laughing anyway.

"Can ya," I sputtered

"Yh-Yeah" she said nodding, getting up, and going downstairs.

Roxie basically lived with us. She hated her home. Her father was an alcoholic and abusive, emotionally and physically. Roxie told us when I was in sixth grade, well she told my mom in sixth grade. She told me in fourth. Her dad wanted a "real son" this time around. Mack, her brother, had asthma, bad and couldn't play sports. Her dad was a real "manly man" he was the kind of guy that yells at the TV during a football game. When he was "bitterly cursed" with a beautiful baby girl, he lost interest in the family and started drinking again. The first time Roxie remembers her dad hitting her, not just her brother or mother, was in second grade. She got a demerit in class for talking. She didn't come to school for a while but I still saw her she'd ride her bike to our house. She had a bad black eye. We didn't tell my mother though. We where too scared. I've suspected him of sexual abuse but haven't brought it up.

I got dressed. A pair of old run-down jeans and a real vintage Pink Floyd shirt my mom bought from her high school buddy for like one-hundred and fifty bucks. I loved her for it, actually I didn't; I loved her for giving birth to me and not killing me. I walked down stairs. Passing my moms wall murals she did when I was seven, I remember "helping" by painting my own wall. It looked like Sherwin Williams threw up on it. But my mom was more proud of me than ever. I walked down the last step facing the front door and walking into the kitchen on our well worn in wood floor. The varnish wasn't even on it anymore. Roxie was leaning against the island with a cup of Acai juice in her hand.

I sighed as I opened the refrigerator eyeing the nutrients in there and pulled out some turkey lunch meat and sat up on the counter then ate it. Roxie sighed.

"What should we do today?" she said gloomily.

"I unno…" I responded.

"Wanna go to The Shops?" I suggested.

"What the hell…" she mumbled walking out the swinging kitchen door to put on her shoes and grab her purse and coat.

Roxie had shoulder-length red hair it was layered and had streaks of platinum blond, from art camp. She wore a pair of well worn in jeans and a baggy Beatles shirt. Her hair was straightened like usual, to different angles. She had tied up her hair in a small bun, only half of her hair was in it she let her bangs hang down around her face and the bottom layer of her hair was down. She had put on neon purple, pink, and green eye shadow, it looked like a rainbow around her eyes. She pulled her purse up and around her. It was a long big massager bag that had was a greenish tan and had patchwork on it.

"Ready?" she asked waiting for me.

"No." I responded pulling on my converse and trudging upstairs to do my hair. Sounds girly don't it? Ha, well it is, isn't it, my hair doesn't do what I want it to do naturally so I spike it up; it ends up a bit poofy. Roxie says I look like some guy from some anime show.

I walked downstairs finally ready.

"Mkay." I said to Roxie as she opened the door.

"The Shops" are a line of stores around city hall. They have a lot of artsy stores in their. My mom and Roxie usually buy their clothes in there. We took our time getting there, walking the long way through the park talking about how evil girls are.

"Yah see a girls idea of getting a guy to fall in love with her is by telling him his girlfriend is cheating on him when is isn't. A guy's idea of winning a girl's heart is by telling her she's pretty and hanging out with her." Roxie finished her long rant.

"That's why I'm gay." I said.

We both laughed. Roxie decided, for both of us that we should go into the coffee shop first. It was ten times better than Starbucks but not a chain, that's why it was so good. Roxie likes it because of the coffee; I like it because from what I know they've never hired a straight guy. We passed the football field on the way there. There was Scott Taylor, the ONLY hot guy in our school. He moved here in freshmen year (now we're juniors).

"God is an artist." Roxie said staring at him with me.

"Yeh-yeah." I stuttered awkwardly.

He was tan and very muscular. He was that perfect ethnic mix, like the guys in all the romance movies. He had wavy shiny black hair, it wasn't very long only touched the bottoms of his ears. He was really tall like 5'10". I was only 5'6", a midget compared to him or at least I felt like it. He had bright blue eyes. He had gone out with almost every girl in the school, at least the popular ones. Every girl at school was after him too. Roxie was well assured she didn't have a chance. I doubted shed get along with him and if she did he still wouldn't really be the right guy for her. I could see her with a musician or a poet or something but never a jock.

"Come on," said Roxie walking towards the coffee shop.

When we got there a girl with long silky brown hair was working at the counter and the guy who made the coffee looked like the hulk but not green, I coward behind Roxie.

"Where to now," Roxie asked while drinking her green tea frappacino.

"I unno" I said plainly.

Roxie sighed. We sat down in town square on a small wooden bench.

"_Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun…" _Roxie began to sing.

Sometimes we would just sit and sing songs we had stuck in our heads. You can tell how bored we got.

"_If the sun don't come you get your tan from standing in the English rain I am the egg man We are the egg men And I am the walrus Coo coo ca choo, ca coo coo ca choo…_"

We sang but the song sonly died out of loss of concentration on the lyrics. It more turned in to unorganized humming. We laughed at our lack of rhythm and tone. Roxie could sing. At art camp she was in a small band with her roommates and was in the camp play, which was a musical. She also just sang whenever she wanted. They where usually songs we both knew or have heard.

"I miss camp." Roxie said sadly.

"Yeah me too, except Johnny." I said.

Roxie laughed. Johnny, well Johnny, he was different. He was known to be a "mhore", a man whore. He would act like your best friend, sleep with you, then leave you completely and move on to the next poor guy.

Art camp rocked. There where like no rules at all. Well, technically you couldn't be out of you cabin at ten but as long as you didn't like run into the councilors' cabin and screamed right next to their sleeping ear. There where only maybe five straight guys there, and like three of them only went to meet girls the other two where there because they liked art and where usually really nerdy. You didn't have to worry about people judging you there.

"Let's go see a movie." Roxie suggested.

"Sure, why not." I said plainly.

We ended up seeing a horror film and laughing through it just to see what the other people in the theater did. The movie, otherwise, sucked. When we got out it was surprisingly dark out.

"Should we call your mom?" Roxie asked.

"I doubt she's home…" I said.

"I guess…" said Roxie.

We walked home in the dark. Scott was now walking around the shops. We walked the long way home to avoid bumping in to him. On the way home we sang "Here Comes the Sun" because the sun wouldn't be coming out for a while. We really didn't have anything better to do.

"Mind if I stay over tonight?" Roxie asked sounding desperate.

"WOW!" I exclaimed.

"Sicko, no it just you know my dad…" she started.

"Yeah I know I was joking." I said regretting my remark.

"I know." She said.

The rest of the way home we didn't talk.

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	2. Geometry and Gonorrhea

The rest of summer practically ran by. Before I knew it I was standing out on the corner by the stop sign leaning against it for support, waiting for the city bus because it came a few minutes later than the school bus and still got you there on time and besides that you didn't look like such a nerd getting on the city bus instead of the school bus.

"Hey." Somebody said behind me dryly. I turned around to see Scott. A knot of nerves tightened in my stomach and I could feel blood rushing to my face.

"Hi..." I seemed to mumble out nervously.

We stood there in an awkward silence for the next five minutes, it felt more like five years.

"You go to my school right?" he asked.

My heart made a nervous jump.

"Y-yeah…" I mumbled out again the same nervous tension building.

"Oh yeah, you where in my English class last year." He said calmly.

I nervously smiled and shook my head. I turned my head away from him and rolled my eyes at my pity remark. I wish I could have come up with some smooth remark about the football team or something to break the silence then decided against that knowing I'd just get more nervous.

Finally the bus pulled up. The door swung open and I practically tripped up the stairs as I paid my fare. I quickly found a front seat facing the middle of the bus and sat down. To my surprise he sat down near me, only like three feet away. I feared of him trying to make small talk.

"So, you go out with that Roxie girl right?" he said curiously. I rolled my eyes I hated that people just assume that.

I laughed slightly.

"Nah…"I said still nervous.

"Oh, sorry…do you know if she has a boyfriend, I mean you hang out with her a lot and all…" he said, almost apologizing for his previous remark.

"No, she's as single as they come…"I said now wondering if his next victim was Roxie.

"Oh…I was just curious. Sorry 'bout that you just kinda hang out with her a lot so people just assume…"he said the awkwardness rising in his voice as bitter anger filled me.

The bus was now at the school and stopping.

"Well stop assuming." I said harshly and stomped of the bus.

I sonly regretted my remark. I kept walking as if I was pissed off, thinking it would just make him leave me alone. I finally got into the gym. I saw Roxie sitting on the top bleacher in the corner near the wall. I jumped up the bleacher stairs and sat next to her. 

"What's up with you…" she said bitterly.

"Scott thought we where going out…" I said calmly.

"With you…" she laughed.

"Yeah Roxie, I had to break up with him this morning he was just not my type." I said sacristy.

We laughed and exchanged schedules. I wouldn't see her till lunch then I'd see her in Drama but nothing else really.

I made it to first period, English, and Scott was not in that class. Halfway through the class I got called to the office. I was a bit scared because nothing was wrong with my schedule and I didn't think I did anything to get me in trouble.

I got up to the office, still scared.

"Hello Michael." Mrs. Hickam the counselor said. I was relived it was her, she was pretty nice. She left her husband last year, which I guess was good I met him once and he was kind of an asshole.

"I'm going to get strait to the point: we need students to tutor other students and your grades, well you could really help someone out." She said so caringly it was cheesy.

"Uh…" I started to say. I really didn't want to teach some redneck how to do algebra.

"We really need some people Michael. Don't you want to help people. It would really make me proud of you…" she said now pulling the guilt card.

"Okay…" I lamely muttered out.

"Oh excellent! You'll start today after school, meet your student at the library, not the school library the one over on Crest street, be there by four o'clock." She said sounding a bit too rehearsed.

I loved the first day of school, unlike most students because if you give the right impression you can get all the teachers to love you and there's virtually no homework. I dreaded my tutoring session. I secretly hoped to get there and the kid to be a secret wiz that just didn't do any homework or something and would just shut up.

The last bell rang. I sighed as I picked up my bag and walked out of the school to the bus stop. I climbed on the bus secretly hoping that Scott would be on. He wasn't. I got off the bus at the library a quarter of an hour early. I figured I had time to call Roxie on a pay phone and tell her to get on the bus at five and meet me over at the library.

I hung up the nasty phone, depressed by Roxie's response. Her dad wanted her home and there was no argument to that. I understood.

I walked in to the library and looked around for a familiar face. I realized at that moment I had no idea who I was to be tutoring or which section to meet them in. I spotted Scott, this wasn't really a jock hang out I wondered why he was here. There was a preppy blond sitting next to him giggling girlishly. I rolled my eyes as a small roar of jealousy came over me. I walked up to the round desk in the middle of the library where an attendant stood; I figured she could help me.

"Hey, umm… I'm tutoring someone here…I really don't know who…" I said vaguely.

"Oh yeah, its that gentleman over there." She said in an obnoxiously high and preppy voice pointing towards Scott.

I looked at him then realized I would be tutoring him. Oh crap. My stomach did a summersault as I walked over to his table.

"Uh…Hey." I said nervously. He looked up at me and the girl quickly stopped laughing.

"I better go…bye Scott" she said then looked at me like she wanted to kill me.

I stood there staring a back at Scott.

"Have a seat." He said coolly.

I sat down still nervous trying to break my star by looking around the room. I realized it made me look like a meth head.

"So…uh…what do you need help in." I said awkwardly.

"Well I really don't know I thought you could help me with that…" he said.

"Okay look to tell you the God's honest truth I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I don't have very good people skills and I don't know what your grades are so I really don't know how I could help" I said surprisingly I wasn't so nervous now.

He laughed. THANK GOD! I made him laugh maybe that'd break the ice and I could at least be friends with him.

"Well, I really have hard time in math with like geometry." He said.

"Well I like geometry and yes I am the biggest nerd you'll ever meet." I said sarcastically.

He laughed again. I cherished it.

He opened his math book and looked up geometry in the chapter guides.

I sat there and boringly explained the lesson. Then a bunch of middle school kids came in and sat behind us. They started talking about sex which made me burst out laughing. Scott looked at me like I was crazy then listened to the kids behind us and understood the humor.

"No man I mean like we had to look an infected dick!" one of the boys behind us said he almost sounded scared.

Scott burst out laughing. Then I laughed at him laughing. I loved his laugh, I thrived off it now, it was like a drug that I couldn't do without.

"That was never a subject I struggled in." he said jokingly.

I laughed knowing that so many girls have "given themselves" to him. I knew it was mean but I didn't want to say anything. I didn't know how to respond. I looked up at the clock it was a quarter past five.

"Oh crap." I said bitterly.

"What?"

" I told Roxie to meet me outside the library, she's going to complain about me being late now." I sighed.

"Oh well don't want to keep the girlfriend waiting." He said jokingly.

I looked at him harshly.

"I'm sorry…I was only kidding, anyway you two should go out I mean because God knows you get along so well…" he said looking me strait in the eye. I wanted to tell him I didn't do girls but I didn't know how and I thought he'd tell someone. I looked down at the ground sadly.

"Wait a second." He said packing up and pulling me up and out of the library. Surprisingly Roxie wasn't there.

"Uh… I wanted to ask you something but didn't want other people to be around." He said to me quietly.

"Okay…shoot."

"Is it true…you know all those rumors…I mean I don't want to 'assume' anything but I'm just curious…"he asked now he was nervous.

"What rumors…" I demanded.

"About…you know…you being…well…um..." he nervously sputtered, "you know…gay."

I blushed at the word and looked down at the ground away from his eager eyes. I nodded slightly. I knew this would be the end of our short lived friendship and he'd go off and tell every one I was trying to make a move on him and I'll be even more socially rejected.

"Oh…well when'd you know? I don't want to embarrass you I'm just interested…I mean like in curious." He said he was still nervous.

"I just knew my whole life it was just who I was." I said plainly knowing this would be the last time I'd ever talk to him again. I'd really miss that laugh.

"Oh, well when do you want to met again…for the tutoring, I mean…" he said nervously.

"How's about next Thursday, same time same place?" I asked seeing that he didn't hate me. I guess I trusted him.

"Okay and don't worry I'm not going to tell anyone." He said walking a way.

I guess I would hear that laugh again.


	3. The Invite

When I got home I immediately called Roxie.

"Hey, where the hell where you?" I demanded as soon as she picked up the phone.

"Hey genius reamer I couldn't make it over there."

"Oh…sorry"

"Yeah next time think before you speak. Oh what moron did you teach today?" 

"Scott Taylor"

"HOLY CRAP _THE_ SCOTT TAYLOR?"

"Yup!"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!"

"Yup!"

"Wicked! What happened?"

"Well first he was there with some Blondie then she left and we actually kinda became friends. Oh, and he knows I'm well, what I am, he kinda asked me and you know how I am with that…"

"Yeah…wow I still can't believe you taught _the_ Scott Taylor. Think you could introduce us?"

"Ha, ha, I don't know."

"I got to go now, dad is calling. Ciao!" she hung up.

"MICHAEL IS THAT YOU?" my mom yelled from the kitchen.

"YES, MOM ITS ME." I yelled back walking into the kitchen.

"Hey, so how'd the first day go? You had to tutor?" she asked putting away groceries.

"Good, how'd you know about the tutoring?" I doubted that the school would call her or anything.

"Heard you on the phone, watch your language to." I blushed.

"So, _the_ Scott Taylor the God of a high-school-er?" she asked rising her eyebrows.

I laughed and blushed more.

"Uh…yeah that's the one." I said awkwardly I was always pretty open to talking to my mom about stuff this was just kinda strange.

"Well dinners in a half an hour, Roxie coming over?"

"No, you know how her dad gets…" I said my gaze drifting to the floor.

At dinner I told mom about all my classes and my teachers. I also told her about seeing Scott at the bus stop. She said next time to talk more and not seem like such of a freak.

The next morning Roxie came beating the front door and yelling "THE BUS ISN'T GONNA WAIT FOR YOU PRINCE CHARMING NOW GET YOUR ASS UP!!"

I was awake, just because I wasn't outside in the cold waiting didn't mean I wasn't awake I guess that Roxie hadn't figured that out. I walked out side and realized it was pretty cold out; I went inside and grabbed a grey zip up Hoodie. Roxie got on the school bus she usually did. She hated the public bus driver. He was a bit of a pedophile, but I'm a guy so I don't have to worry about that, or at least that's what Roxie says. When I got to the bus stop Scott was already there.

"Hey." I said hoping that he'd say something back.

"Oh hey," he actually walked over by me and sat down next to me at the bus stop.

"So what's up?" he asked looking at me. I felt privileged to talk to him.

"Nothing since yesterday." I said almost sarcastically, I wasn't really a morning person.

He chuckled. "Yeah, same here."

"Sorry about yesterday I forgot that she couldn't make it." I said looking down at the ground and trying to use my mom and Roxie's advice.

"Who?" he asked almost dumbly, I guess he isn't a morning person either.

"Roxie."

"Oh, right; I'm not really a morning person." He said.

"Same here."

"What's your schedule?" he asked me. I was shocked I doubted he really wanted to know, well I guess he did. I handed him my schedule I was still walking around with, I had trouble remembering my classes.

"Ah, ya' see I have Person third too, and I have McMillan fourth, and Markham seventh. Oh, hey look we have the same lunch period, cool." He said comparing our schedules. I still couldn't put together the fact that I was trading schedules with Scott Taylor.

"Cool…"I mumbled having nothing else to say.

That was the highlight of my week he still came to the bus stop we still talked but it usually wasn't that important and it was too early to reamer WHAT we talked about.

The weekend was boring. I had homework, BLAH! Roxie came over and we hung out up at the shops but didn't see Scott running around…I wish I had.

Then all of my wildest dreams where answered.

It was Sunday night, my mom was out at the store, and I got a phone call from I picked up the phone and answerd. 

"Hello?" I asked, I had no idea who was calling it said out of area on the caller id but sometimes it does that for cell pones.

"Hey, Michael? It's Scott." I almost fell over. My mouth hung wide open and it looked like I just got a phone call from Jerry Springer saying I was the father.

"Yeah, this is he." I said questioning if I worded that right.

"Kay, that's good. Ha, ha, well I was just calling to say that I won't be able to make it tomorrow to the library, why don't you just come to my place." At that I literally fell over but its okay my butt stopped the fall.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Oh, um…cat." I said thinking up some lame excuse, now I need to get a cat…great.

"Oh, well can you?"

"Yeah!" I said sounding a bit to eager.

"Great!" then he gave me the bus stop to get off at and his house number.

"Look I don't know if it's a problem but my mom is out for of town for the week so if like your parents have some strange chaperone rule or anything…"

"No, my mom usually isn't home…well she is just not when I am…"I winced at my lame explanation.

"Sweet! Well come like at five this time, okay?" I caught the eagerness in his voice that excited me a bit but then I doubted it and put it away in the back of my mind.

I would be going to his house now…great.


	4. Be Real Nice or the Bunny Gets It

I walked up to his door and rung the door bell hoping that he wasn't home. He opened the door. It was so weird seeing him in his house it was like I was intruding on his life.

"Hey come on in." he said opening the door more to present his house.

I walked inside my books in my hand at my side. His house was friggin huge. I looked around, it was welcoming and had that lived in look.

"Come on." He said leading me to the kitchen table where all his books where.

"How'd you get my number?" I asked him genuinely curious.

"Counselor."

"Oh."

I sat down and started talking to him about scientific equations.

"Yeah, I just don't understand like how the equation works ya' know?" he said.

"Go get your math book." I replied.

"It's upstairs somewhere…" he said laughing and he started to run upstairs, I followed.

We got up to his room there where clothes and metals and trophies everywhere. It defiantly was a boy's room. I walked through the sea of dirty boxers and tee shirts to the middle of the room he had a small room surprisingly smaller than mine. He threw random assortments of clothing and paper out of his way in search of his beloved math book. I looked down and saw something I NEVER thought I'd see in his room.

A little faded pink bunny in green overalls and one eye stared at me from under his covers. I picked it up gaping at the thought of him having a little stuffed animal to comfort him. I could do that; I should really stop thinking like that, like Roxie.

"FOUND IT!!" he shouted in muffled triumph. He turned and looked at me so I looked at him still gaping and the little bunny in my hands. His eyes got about twice the size of his head and he dropped the math book on the ground. 

"GIVE IT!" he demanded.

I started to laugh.

"SHUT UP!" he said jokingly now he was jumping over the bed coming at me I darted a way out the bedroom door.

"MIKE GIVE IT BACK!!" he yelled still laughing and running after me. …he called me Mike…

"NOPE!" I yelled now down at the kitchen and running down the hall in to a random room. Well as you can imagine a little scrawny kid like me couldn't out run an athlete for long.

I ran to the other side of the room. I'm guessing it was a guest room there was only a bed, a small dresser, and a nightstand.

"Mick give me the bunny back." He said assertively.

"Uh no!" I said laughing.

He jumped over the bed after me I tried to make it to the other side but was tackled down on to it. I rolled out of the way trying my hardest to get out from under him, straining my arm with the little pink bunny as far away from him as possible.

I was still laughing when I realized I was now the only one laughing. He was straddling over me with his hands on either side of me on the bed. He was staring directly into my eyes. An adrenaline rush waved through me as I fought urges off and crushed dirty ideas. I stared back at him. There was something different in his eyes, something dark. I felt like he was either going to hit me or make out with me. He lifted up his hands and moved them towards me. He rested both of them on either side of my rib cage. I could almost see my heart pounding. I could hear faintly a chorus of angles. My wildest dreams where answered. But in the back of my mind I felt used.

He slowly moved his hands down my waist leaning in closer and closer as he did. It felt like I was levitating up to him I could tell now I was breathing really heavily. I swallowed. He closed his eye. I could feel the heat of his breath against my lips. Then as his lips barley even touched mine he jumped up about ten feet in the air.

He stood up away from the bed in the corner. I was still in shock.

"I-I think you should go…" he said nervously.

I got up and practically ran into the kitchen feeling like I had just done the one thing that would make him never talk to me again. I grabbed my stuff and started to walk to the door. It was eerily silent in his house. When I turned to shut the door I could see him there looking at me like he had just been betrayed.

Never again…


	5. Raining Apology

I walked down the street to the bus stop quickly, nervously. I wondered if he was watching me, waiting for me to turn around. I got on the bus as it made a screeching stop. Thanking God that a bus had arrived, I found a seat and sat down putting my elbow on the window and holding my forehead. I was halfway home when I realized that I forgotten my science book at his house. I looked outside the window and saw it was already dark out. I would now have to get off at my stop and wait for another bus to go up to his place, great.

By the time the bus got there it was almost dark out. It was that bluish look you get at the end of sunset. I got on and tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for his stop. I wondered why he came all the way out to my stop to wait for the bus in the morning. Then I looked up at the bus times. They where all weird, if he waited for the bus at his stop he'd get to school at like 5:30, I guess he took a later bus to our stop then waited there.

The bus stopped. I got off and looked up at the sky. There where rain clouds, awesome. I was a third of the way to his house when it started to rain first it wasn't that bad but by the time I was half way it was pouring. I started to run. I made it up to his doorstep soaked. I rang the door bell he came to the door with a puzzled look on his face. I stood there wet, arms folded, and hair plastered to my head.

"Hey…?" he said looking at me like I was a ghost or something. 

"I forgot my Science book." I said between shivers.

"Well come in." he said yet again opening his door to me.

I walked into his house my converse shludging out water. He walked back to the kitchen and I stood on his doormat.

"Here you go. Look, I my parents have an extra car I only have my permit and I'm not LEAGLY allowed to drive but I'm pretty good at it. Why don't I just drive you home so you don't catch pneumonia or something?" he said handing me my book.

"Sure." I replied glad he wasn't going to shun me for the rest of his life.

He grabbed the keys out of a little bowl on a table near the front door and led me into the garage. He opened the door and got in as I got in on the opposite side of the car. He opened the garage door then started the car. It was a simple two-door sedan. The drive was quiet except for the occasional direction I gave him. We stopped in front of my house and as I grabbed the handle to get out he told me to wait.

"Look, I'm really sorry about what happened earlier." He said sincerely.

"What for tackling me or trying to kiss me." I said coldly I regretted the remark as I said it.

He sighed.

"I really shouldn't had done it." He said looking for forgiveness in me.

I stayed silent.

"It's not your fault, it wasn't right that I did that. I don't know why I did it, now if we can please get on with our lives and forget about this…" he pleaded.

I was still silent.

"Please?" he pleaded again.

"Fine." I said in the same cold tone as before.

I was half way out the car door when he said:

"Friends?" and held out his hand for me to shake it, and I did.

I slammed the door behind me.

"Forget this all ever happened…" I knew he could.

But I couldn't.

The next morning he was at the bus stop bright and early.

"Hey!" he said surprisingly enthusiastically I figured he thought I hadn't gotten over the night before, and he was right.

"Hi…" I said still pissed off.

The rest of the wait we where silent we still where when we got on the bus. He got off first looking at me in the doorway.

"I really am sorry…" he said then he walked a way quickly.

I trudged through the hallways to first period. It was one of the few classes I didn't have with Scott.

"Yes, the rumors are true; we will be getting new students tomorrow. The geniuses at the county office did the districts wrong we'll only get about thirty new kids though." Ms. Tently, our English teacher, said bitterly.

The rest of the day was a blur. I thankfully got off the bus and sulked to my house. As soon as I opened my front door Roxie called. I felt like I hadn't talked to her in years.

"Hey I'm coming over its getting scary over here." She said then hung up the phone.

Why did stuff like that have to happen to good people like Roxie? Her dad was the devil himself and she was one of the best people you could ever meet. Life wasn't ever going to be fair, huh?

I threw my book bag on the floor and wilted in a recliner near the front door in the living room. I tilted my head back in exhaustion. The ending "nah, nah, nah, nah"s of "Hey Jude" where repeating in my head as I relaxed in the chair. I probably heard the song about a week ago and now it was getting to me. My eyes closed. I opened them again realizing I was falling asleep. As I sat there I fought for more waking hours until I finally drifted off to sleep. I jumped as I woke up surprised about being asleep when I saw Roxie sitting on the couch that was adjacent to the recliner.

"Hey…"I said sleepily.

"Hi…" she said.

"What's up?" I said groggily getting up out of the chair.

She sighed. 

"The usual crap." She responded looking down at the ground.

"Did you hear about the new students?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh…"

"I think I'll stay here tonight."


	6. Suppressed Memories

Roxie did end up staying the night. She stayed on the couch in my room. She still didn't ride the public bus to school though, which I thought was retarded. Scott wasn't at the bus stop and he didn't ride the bus. I wondered why but wasn't going to ask him. A freshmen, I'm guessing, I didn't recognized waited for the bus too. I met up with Roxie in the gym in the morning. Today we where going to get the new students. Apparently they didn't let the teachers tell the students till yesterday although rumors where going around. I didn't think much of it. I got in to first period and we had to get new seats because of the new kids.

"Michael, I need you to move back there by John," Mrs. Tently ordered me as she did the rest of the students.

She got everyone in new seats fast and began teaching. We where starting with poetry this year. It was actually interesting in English now, I hated stuff like diagramming sentences and was glad we weren't focusing on that. While she was looking for a poetry book, I looked at who I was told was John. I recognized his face from somewhere, but where. I looked at him and came to a horrifying conclusion. He was Johnny. He looked just slightly older. I could only imagine how my face must have looked. I was surprised nobody noticed except him. He sat there looking back at me, I was still in shock. He looked at me with that look he always had. It was like he was bragging about screwing up your life.

"You remember me Michael?" he asked, though in more of a bragging tone like he always had. I sat there and coldly stared at him. How the hell could he do that, just humiliate someone right to there face. He had no soul.

"Oh, come on Michael. You got to remember me, how couldn't you." He said in the same demeaning tone. Obviously he knew I remembered him a bit too well.

Mrs. Tently finally found her poetry book and began reading something by Emily Dickinson. I could tell Johnny was looking at me. I tried to pretend he didn't exist, kinda like everyday. The bell rang about ten minutes later, saved by the bell. I got up and Johnny looked at me, raising his eyebrows he looked at me like he expected what happened at camp to happen again.

"You know I haven't forgotten you Michael, you where my favorite." He said glaring at me patronizingly.

I stormed out of the room trying to look less pissed to avoid questions. Thankfully he didn't follow me, though I didn't expect him to. I saw Roxie I knew she'd be able to tell that something happened. I didn't want to talk to her about it though; I didn't want to talk to anyone about it. She looked at me puzzled. I shook my head slightly to tell her I didn't want to talk and she nodded her head understanding. I knew she'd ask me about it later, who wouldn't know.

Second period was Johnny free, thank God, but he was in my third period but not in my lunch period which relieved me. He wasn't in any other of my classes. I was blessed. The final bell rang ending this horrid day. I walked out of the school and off of the campus and to the bus stop. Johnny was across the street and he saw me. I felt like a fifty pound weight had just been added to me. I kind of wished that Scott would be there. I waited and saw Johnny walking across the street. Oh crap. I looked around and saw Scott walking towards the bus stop. Half of the weight was gone now a bundle of nerves tightened in my stomach. I could only imagine what they'd say to each other.

"Hi Michael." Johnny sneered steeping up on to the curb.

I ignored him and looked down at the ground.

"You can't ignore me forever you know that right. If anything I think there will be a replay of camp, if you know what I mean." He coldly said. Anger was slowly building up in me. I looked toward the school and saw that Scott had gotten closer and he looked a little lost. Thankfully he got to the bus stop within that minute.

"Hey Michael." He said looking at Johnny inquisitively.

"Hi Scott…" I mumbled out.

"Hi I'm John, you can call me Johnny." Johnny introduced himself. I knew what he was thinking and it was almost humorous. He probably thought I had a thing for Scott, which isn't that wrong, and that Scott had a thing for me, which was very wrong, he was going to try and get Scott.

"Scott."

"So, how do you know Michael" Johnny said, a little too gay-ish, I looked to the ground hiding my red face with my hand.

"Oh, uh he tutors me." Scott replied looking nervous and scared. It was almost humorous.

"Oh really," Scott said with a little smirk on his face, I knew what he thought by "tutor".

"I know Michael from camp, yup, we where really close." I closed my eyes in disbelief that Johnny just told Scott that. Scott's eyes widened. He nodded his head a bit.

"I was so surprised to see Michael in my first period. I figure now we can be just how we use to be." Johnny did a little smirk. Scott looked even more scared.

"Oh, well I got to go." Johnny said looking over his shoulder. Then he started walking back across the street. When he was half way across the street he turned to me and did a tiny wave and winked.

"Christ." I breathed.

Scott stood there looking at me like I just killed his mother. I looked back at him annoyed and shook my head.

"What's wrong with that guy?" He pleaded.

"He…well I don't want to talk about it." I looked down at the ground again hoping he'd drop it.

"No, what happened?!" he said scared but demanding.

"He, well, um… I went to this camp last summer and he was there and well…" I tried to drift off I figured that he'd just drop it.

"I know that already are you even friends with that guy?!"

"Uh…ha, ha not really." I said sarcastically.

"Well then why is he talking about you like you've been best friends since conception?"

"Because…well…I guess you could have said we where 'seeing each other' at camp."

Scott was puzzled then after about a minute a light went off inside, I could tell by his resemblance to an owl. He swallowed.

"Y-y-you mean t-that you an-and hi-him…d-did um…" he sputtered out sweating.

"Yup." I said blankly.

"Well…why?" he looked at me horrified.

"Oh, I don't know maybe because I'm-" I started to sarcastically confess until he cut me off by putting his hand up and looked at me like I just said the "c" word.

"What." I demanded now annoyed.

"I- I don't want everyone to know I'm hanging around with one- one of you."

"What," I could not believe he just said that "you bastard go to hell." I got up quickly and figured I could walk to the next bus stop or just somewhere else.

"W-wait, I didn't mean it like that I'm sorry." Why did he want to keep me here longer, all he was going to do was badger me with questions about camp. I looked at him furiously.

"What do you want?" I was tired of it; I really didn't want to be there obviously.

"I'm sorry about everything, the other night and what I just said. As you can imagine its kind of difficult having a friend like you…" he looked embarrassed and surprised as he said that. I could see regret cross his face. I cocked my head to the side and looked at him curiously annoyed.

"What do you mean 'a friend like me'?"

"Well…your just like easy to hang out with and…can we go somewhere else to talk about this." He was looking around like he was expecting someone to be there. I nodded. The bus got there. I forgot we where even waiting for the bus. He asked me to get off at his stop with him.

Another nice visit to his lovely home…awesome.


	7. A short visit

I wasn't looking forward to it as you can imagine. We walked silently to his house. We walked around to the backdoor of his house he unlocked the door. We walked into the kitchen I realized that you could see straight through to the front door from the back door. I stood there staring at him, I had no idea what he wanted to do.

"Look….umm well…I'm sorry. You have to see it from my end. I mean your just different from me and I don't really care I have a pretty open mind its just that it's a little weird for me. And I really don't know how to deal with it sometimes. I hear a bunch of girls talking about you and I wanna turn around and tell them. I wanna tell my friends so they'll stop thinking that gays are weird. I just don't like keeping this secret." he said quickly.

He stood there breathing heavily and staring at me as if I where to respond with a completely understandable treaty of forgiveness. I wanted him to feel more comfortable. I didn't really want to scare him off.

"Girls talk about me…"I said slightly laughing to lighten the conversation. He laughed.

"No man I'm serious what do they say?" I said he laughed some more. I wanted to keep going just so I could see and hear him laugh.

"Well ya know…..'Oh Michael's so sweet and polite. He and Roxie make such a cute couple.'" He said in a mocking tone.

We laughed.

"I was kinda wondering if while you where here you'd help me with some stuff." he asked.

"Oh yeah, sure." I shrugged.

We worked through the basics. It was about nine when we got done. It was dark out and cars drove past his house, I looked at the front door trying to picture the bus schedule.

"Hey, don't worry about it I'll drive you home."

Weird, he was reading my mind. We talked for a while after that. I made a note that he nodded his head a lot when I was talking to him. I couldn't tell if he was pretending or really was interested in the different voice sounds of Paul McCartney and John Lennon. Was I just a big joke to him? He moved his leg under the table, it brushed against mine. My heart raced I could feel my face getting redder. I wished I'd worn a jacket in to say I was "just getting warm". Then again I don't think your face can just get that red all of the sudden when your "just getting warm" under a sweatshirt in a 75 degree room.

It got fairly quiet after a while. I started to laugh quietly to myself then he laughed too.

"Wait…you don't have your license do you?" I said as if I just had an epiphany.

"No, you just figured that out?" he looked at me as if I just asked him to have sex with me.

I laughed. "Yeah."


End file.
